Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Selfish and space

Something I didn't realize till I saw this picture. And studied it a bit.
I was a bit selfish. Or maybe needy in a certain aspect. It came to me as I looked at this picture and where it was taken.

I remember this picture because it was taken at our home in Boston, just before we went to the Halloween party in PA that was a yearly event. We didn't always make it to the party, and we were in Boston this year, but it was a fun event my cousin threw and we tried to go as often as possible. I went this year without really knowing what my costume would be, just one of Batman's villianess loves. I ended up being Poison Ivy, a redheaded arch villianess that shows up in one of the movies but in many of the comics.

Jim had worked hard on the Batman outfit. The mask was not quite right and on my way home from work I found a rubber one based on the then new movie. I am glad I found the pics that have him in almost the same pose. That top one was, again, one that I hadn't seen in years and had forgotten it existed. I really love looking at/sorting thru pics.

It was perfect and he looked great. He had worked on getting the bat symbol correct and debated the points of having the oval around the bat or not and what material to make the cape out of. He put thought into it. And I think in the end, it showed it.

So onto the part of my being selfish.

The first pic was taken in my 'office' in our house in Boston. A room that was totally 'me'. See the dalmatians on the shelves - me. I am sitting here writing this from a room that is both 'office' and library and closet area for me. Neither was really Jim's space. Though his exercise equipment was there, and his comics are there, I took over this room. In a house with only 4 rooms and a small basement, I took one of the rooms and made it more mine than his.

It was the same in our apartment before the townhouse. One room was a guest room/office/library. It was a place for me to put up posters and books. Most of them mine.

To show it wasn't all about me, in our townhouse we had 3 bedrooms - and never any company, so one room was his to do with and one was mine. In Boston, Jim did have a room on the first floor for his space. I guess as I type this out and remember, it wasn't really as bad as I first thought (which is why I type this stuff out, so I can help my swiss cheese brain remember).

But, Jim did always allow me to have the space. We both respected each others need to have some personal space and it seems he was more willing to fill my need for space over his need. He never spoke about it, but helped me by putting the computer and shelves where I could use them daily.


Rach said...

Not selfish, Betsy. Not selfish in the least. In fact, it just shows how well-loved you were. Most likely Jim didn't care as much about having his own space as you did, and he knew that. How blessed to be so well loved! :o)

CarolChretien said...

Hi Betsy just popping in to say while I don't read everyday I keep up with tea and sit down to read about what you are up to.

Always keep you in my thoughts...and always appreciate the fact that we are each always a moment away from walking in your shoes.
keep the faith Baby!
Carol and the Liz-meister