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A quote from one of my childhood heroes - Starsky. Yep of Starsky and Hutch, 1975 a couple of cute cops and a wicked cool car. I was a fan. I owned that sweater he wore, the sneakers he had on and even painted my bike red with a white stripe. I had a book plastered with photos and articles from Teen beat and other teen magazines.
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The love he spoke about that he and his wife Elizabeth had was something very special. You could hear it in his voice.
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He met her while driving down Santa Monica Boulevard in Hollywood. They smiled at each other, then Paul motioned for Elizabeth to pull over, flirted with her and then invited her out for Chinese food. Well as the story goes, they both knew that there was a connection. It was love.
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He went on to star in Starsky and Hutch and they went on to get married.
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In 1981, Elizabeth contracted HIV through a blood transfusion while giving birth to the couple's first child, Ariel, and unkowingly passed it on to her children thru breastfeeding. They didn't find out about the virus until four years later, at which time both Ariel and son Jake (born October 1984) were also found to be HIV positive.
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Ariel Glaser died in August 1988; Elizabeth Glaser died in 1994, after founding the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation in 1988.
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Paul Michael Glaser and his wife had a very special love for each other.
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He writes about his grief. "I think it is important to acknowledge our powerlessness in our understanding of 'grieving', because while we grieve for the physical presence of those we have loved and lost, we are also grieving for our being powerless to prevent it."
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Powerless and frustrated are two feelings that I am familiar with.
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I read an interview the other day from Rhonda Mac, comedian Bernie Mac's wife. He died just recently and she talked about her grieving. She said one time she walked into their bedroom. "I could smell his cologne. I inhaled and I said, 'You're here'. I was turning around and saying, 'Hey Bernard'. It stayed with me for about five minutes."
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It is something many of us grieving the loss of our loved one feels. A fleeting moment of comfort. I know I get this from Jim's flannel shirts. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath, know that though he is gone, you are not alone. That you can be strong.
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She goes on to say she still feels the comedian's presence at home. "When I turn a corner, I'm still thinking, 'I'm going to see him. I've had moments where I've woken up and I've sworn I could feel him smacking me on the back of the leg. I'll say, 'That hurts. I told you to stop. You're still so heavy-handed, even on the other side.'" Those moments are "very comforting," she says with a smile.
Our ablity to love is our truest power. To love and be loved.
2 comments:
You know I really believe that when loved ones pass on they are still with us. They watch over us, continue to love us and I think they help us make decisions. I know that when I have something really important I need to decide about I always ask what would Daddy want me to do? There is always this voice in my head that tells me. Maybe that is my imagination, maybe it is because deep down I always knew what he wanted me to do. It doesnt matter, it makes me feel better.
I would swear there have been moments when Hannah is with me. I also know I've listened to Lily chatting with her.
This is such a powerful and beautiful post, Betsy. Love doesn't end because a loved one dies and I sometimes wonder if people forget that.
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