Thursday, February 21, 2008

Corner of my eye

I write this to capture a memory from just moments ago.

Sitting in the mall, on a bench, waiting for my friends to get thru the line. I see, in the corner of my eye, just a fleeting glimpse. I see Jim, coming thru the door of the mall.

But no, it's not him.

Just a guy in a jacket like his. A guy with the same build. My heart aches.

Not my Jim. No, not my Jim with a bouncy stride and the smile that grows bigger when he sees me. I think about this, picture this and remember, the moment when we both get up and walk towards each other. The hug. The "missed you honey". Not any of these tonight.

Except, in my head. I saw it all. Felt it all. Missed it all.

How strange it was to see Jim and yet, not see him. I could hear his voice and feel myself answering to the seeing of him. It was like a whisper, a tease.

I sat on the bench afterward the guy walked by and felt my eyes tear up. I stared at the ceiling and then tried to stop myself from crying. Then looked at all the men that walked by.

None were Jim.

5 comments:

Laura said...

I so wish we could find them for real. I hope you are well.

rachd said...

I'm so sorry. I just ache for you.

Laurie said...

Thinking of you this morning and praying for you. I am so sorry for the hurt.

Hugs and Love, Laurie in Ca.

Donna said...

If you Think you saw him...you Did! I Do Not doubt that. Hugs to you sweetheart!

CarolChretien said...

I see my Dad that way all the time...I think of it as a quick hug from him ...maybe we are thinking of each other at the same time.
I know that he is always around us.
it is not the same as what we had by any means but Love always is.
hugs
Carol