Monday, January 28, 2008

today tomorrow

I am not sure how to feel today and wonder how I will be feeling tomorrow.

It will be 8 months since Jim died. On Tuesday May 29th at 3:35 am.

I haven't kept track of how many days or hours or minutes. I know some that do.

I haven't kept track of the breaking of my soul. The things I have done for myself now. The bittersweet smile I get from a photo of Jim. The wishing and hoping it is all a dream, that Jim will call soon. The days of getting through, doing okay and the days of sheer total pain. The depression. The rip in my heart that is a huge aching hole and the day by day healing as the pain starts to scab over and make life possible.

I guess I do know how I feel today. I feel reflective.

3 comments:

Laurie said...

Praying for you this morning as you reflect on the last 8 months. I hope the reflections are healing to some extent as this journey is not an easy one to get through. All of these days put together, good and bad, are the threads that are weaving a new normal for you. One you never asked for but one that is bringing you through. Blessings to you today friend.

Laurie in Ca.

Donna said...

Sending you many smiles and lots of love Sweetheart...

rachd said...

I pray today was a relatively peaceful day for you.

HUGS!