Okay days

What an okay day Saturday was. And what an okay day Sunday was. Two in a row.

Saturday was a nice trip going out with a friend thrift store hopping and finding some fun buys. Not enough to fill up the space cleared out from friday nights purge, but a couple things that will really be helpful. One is a rack for the shoes and another is an alarm clock. Saturday evening was spent at my cinema club meeting and seeing friends there is always a lift. Mood was up. So when I came into Sunday it was not difficult to still be feeling good. Sloth definately won out today though. I did put some dishes in storage boxes and took dogs for walks and watched a marathon of Quantum Leap dvd's as I worked. All of it at a slow pace and a relaxed mode. I didn't get near enough of what I wanted to do done, but I don't mind.

It is nice to feel good and not be down. To get things done. Even things that were expected as somewhat difficult were accomplished. It makes me feel like my head is a little more together than it was last week. Which means it may be more together next week. The voice on my shoulder says to remember the two steps forward, three back rule and not get too excited. Feeling good does not mean I have to then feel bad. That is my mantra this week. It is interesting to just take a breath, not feel the overwhelming pain right off and realize that you don't. It's like waking up to find a toothache gone. I know if I think about Jim and our loss, it will return. I know it is not gone forever. I know that I am making a big step by realizing that I am actually feeling okay.

This is not the same level of 'okay' or 'good' that I would have recognized six months ago. These would have been fair to eh days then. My standards have changed and I will take an okay day and be happy that I had one.

I decided to go to my sister's for Thanksgiving. It will be a never done before trip for me and that will make it special. She asked me to bring some photos that I have of our grandparents and great grandparents. She also said something about Karoake on friday night. That could make it scary, but fun. I drilled her on the fixing for Thanksgiving and she said 24lb turkey and jellied cranberry and I was set. My love of white turkey meat showed it's pretty face.