Going to spend Thanksgiving at my big sister's home. I have cleaned, packed and snuggled with the dogs tonight. While sitting on the couch with the dogs, Figaro even decided to come up and sit on my knees. He has NEVER done that before. I think at almost six months, he is finally coming to bond with me. I had to hold Tigger back and she was ready to pounce on Fig, but I kept them seperate and Figaro relaxed enough to even purr. That was something. Really something.
I found myself tearing up as I talked to him. There was just a sense of trust and love that he showed me after months and years of having nothing to do with me (he was Jim's cat) I realized how much he must have been missing Jim. I told him that I was glad he came to sit on my lap and that I missed Jim so much. I wanted to purr in Jim's arms as much as he wanted to purr on his lap. How can you tell a cat that you miss his 'daddy' too. Figaro only stayed a few moments, but it was a special couple moments. It may not seem like much, but it was.
I realized as I wiped tears that I hadn't cried all day today. That I got thru a whole day with no tears. My crying has become a late night dark bedroom time. I am more and more getting thru the days with the pain. Used to it and able to function each day. The void is there. The emptiness in my heart and the lonliness in the house. But I am moving and doing. Still not really motivated to clean or eat. But I did some more laundry. It's something.
Getting ready for the trip has been interesting. Figuring out what to wear, what to pack, setting up the dogs for the petsitter, setting up the tivo so that survivor, dirty jobs and project runway will record and finding old family photos for my sister.
I am not sure if I will be able to blog from my sisters or not. If not, Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
This photo has nothing to do with Thanksgiving, but it was a polaroid I found. Jim brought me this balloon home with roses for Valentines Day 1991. He really was a sweet man.
1 comment:
Hi Betsy,
Being a cat lover myself, I have to tell you that any time a cat comes to you and gives affection, you have to be "honored". They are so independant and will not be told what to do. They sense so much that we don't. Two hearts missing Jim at the same moment, bless you girl. You are going forward at your own pace and I can really read the difference in your words. I hope you have the most wonderful time at your sisters and some really good memories are made this week. Treasure this time together in your heart and be blessed.
Love, Laurie in Ca.
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