Monday, December 29, 2008

December 29

19 months

82 weeks

13,920 hours

And I find that I can sit and remember the details of that night/morning so sharply that it is like I am there again. Coming home is a blur, but sitting in the hospital and touching Jim, a cold Jim, and realizing that he was dead adn that it would be the last time to touch him, to see his face, to feel his hair and I can remember running my fingers thru his hair. It hurt too much to touch his skin, it was too cold, but the hair, feeling it is a still very vivid memory.

835,200 minutes


Rach said...

I remember holding Hannah, cradling her in my arms and then getting a little freaked out when I realized how cold she was getting.

I try NOT to remember that day. It all still hurts, doesn't it?

Betts4 said...

Oh Rach, I am sorry I brought it back to the surface. It does still hurt. It is something I try not to think about and when I do, I try to counter it with thoughts of good times and memories of touching Jim alive and warm and vibrant.

Sharon said...


The 19 months jumped out at me today -- that is how old my grandson is this month.

Although I know that NO ONE person could ever replace Jim in your mind or your heart...I do hope it heartens your day to watch new life, and observe the little ones just beginning their journey...Blessings on your day,

Rach said...

No worries, Betsy. There's no telling *what* will trigger it. The other night I was rocking Lil and BAM, there it was. The memory is a CRAZY thing.

Lynnbug said...

I remember sitting by the bed of each of my grandparents while they died and after also. I was not there when my Dad died and I was not allowed to see him when I got to the hospital. I think I would not have been able to bear it.