Sunday, June 8, 2008


Tonight I got to sit in the living room, take my shoes off and not worry about getting splinters from the floor!

My two brothers, younger and older, came up today and lay down some Pergo flooring. It is a laminate, tongue in groove and it took about 5 hours for the whole room.

It is gorgeous and wonderful compared to what was there and it gives the room a whole new fresh look. This was a project that Jim was going to undertake last summer. When I told my older brother about it, he said 'well, I have put down floor in my two sister in laws houses so why not in MY sisters'. Wheee!! He is a good guy. Thank you Sam!

My niece came to help and she is 19. It was nice to get to know her a little. We have always been too far away to interact as families except for the once a year at christmas or thanksgiving deal. Of course then it is with other family members and not one on one like it was today.

I took my wedding ring off this weekend. I wear Jim's and my rings on the same finger and I put them both beside his Urn. I took them off with two reasons in mind. One, I knew I was going to be doing a lot of moving, hammering, washing and didn't want to worry. I worry about it sliding off and losing it. Jim's ring is a little bit larger and slides off easier but it is stopped by my ring that fits snug. The second reason is to see what it would feel like. I have been thinking of the 'year and a day' of mourning from the older times. I am not going to stop grieving my loss of Jim but I am going to move forward. More moving forward than I have done in the last year. I have to. I have come to realize that I have to, whether I like it or not. The whole in the heart is there, I don't deny that. But the step forward must be taken.

I went without the rings for two days and found myself always touching my finger. And being off center because I didn't feel the rings. Then remembering they were safe. So tonight I put them back on and will wear them again. It felt good to have them on again.


Rach said...

The floor is beautiful and I keep BEGGING Brien to see if we too could get Pergo. He keeps saying yes, but I see nothing but carpet as of yet.

Moving forward is a good thing, but only if there is a measure of comfort and familiarity. I'm moving forward by tackling Hannah's room, and there will be *some* comfort in that--although, not much. I think for you, the rings are rather the same. Those rings are a comfort to you. I don't see wearing them as a step back. You wearing your rings and moving forward don't have to be mutually exclusive. Okay, for me anyway.

HUGS to you on this momentous step.

Laurie said...

I really like the new floor too. I wish......... Betsy, I am glad you experimented with the rings off, but to be honest, I think the memories far outweigh any thought of ever moving backwards ever. They represent love, and that hasn't changed for you at all. You will always love Jim. Not that you asked for my two cents, but I am sentimental about such things of the heart. And bless your brother for doing the floor. What a sweetheart!! I think you are doing a great job and I continue praying for you. Enjoy that floor, and have the dogs slipped on it yet?

Love, Laurie in Ca.

TigereyeSal said...

I'm glad you tried rings off, then on again. It's good to stretch and try, and then truly KNOW what is right for oneself. I think this is what grace and wisdom look like...