Tuesday, May 13, 2008

A year ago today

A year ago today we were laughing at the tv.
Six months ago I was sorting thru his clothes.
5 years ago we walked together in Boston.

18 years ago I was sharing our first kiss.

Two years ago we were fighting about bills.
Four months and a week ago I was paying off a debt.
12 years ago we were picking out our first puppy.

18 years and 6 months ago we were sharing our wedding vows.
Twenty years ago and we didn't even know each other.

11 months and 16 days and I was crying in the hospital with my husband gone.

8424 hours have passed.

I woke up this morning thinking about the line 'a year ago today' and with that was the memory of Jim and I, laughing about a TV show last night at this time last year.

The gears fell into place and the clicks thru my head started. Memories meshing of 6 months ago and 5 years ago and 12 years and...like a scene from a movie it was a montage of images cut from our life flashing at me. They move slowly and yet still it is too short for a time that was ours.

It ends with the capture of me in the hospital waiting room and the doctor tell me they did everything they could. The moment is a blur but his words seared my brain.

It starts a new moments later with my hand on his face, touching in disbelief, staring at his death.

A year ago, two years, three years or fifteen. What will they be when I look back fifteen years from now. The gears are still meshing and the memories still growing. The montage of images is ever changing.

1 comment:

Rach said...

This is beautiful, sweet Betsy. Simply put, elegant and beautiful.