Sunday, April 20, 2008

Calm weekend

Just a quiet sunday morning. The summer has started and the heat and humidity were testing me yesterday. Today will be just some rambling sunday morning thoughts.

I am going to call my sister in law today to ask her for some photos that she took of Jim when we were down to visit last March. I have emailed her three times but have gotten no response. None of Jim's family has been in contact with me since august 2007. I have heard that this is not uncommon with in laws and the widows though. My family and my family of friends has helped and offered support and that fills the gap.

I find it odd though that I am living in their house. Well, the one they grew up in and I walk around sometimes touching a wall or looking at a door thinking that as kids Jim and they ran around here. I have an oil tank in the basement covered in 60's graffiti from Jim's sister and friends. It is funny to look at it when I go down there. There is a big trunk down there that is under the stairs and hasn't been opened since Jim and I moved here five years ago. And who knows how long before that. The wine in the cellar that Jim's dad made is still there but more for decoration than for using. I am going to work on organizing the basement in a couple weeks. I have a whole weekend set aside for that.

I did do some work in the backyard. Work that Jim and I talked about doing. A dream that we wanted to do together, but since he is gone, I finished myself. It is one of the few dreams of ours that I can finish myself. We have a plot of dirt/grass/weeds that is 4 foot by 7 foot and I have wanted to put flat stones down there to make it more like a patio. I know I am not doing it like the landscapers and I know that there will be weeds popping thru, but I got about five stones down and it looks okay. There is a calmness to be found in working in the yard. I was on my knees and digging and leveling things off and having two dogs that wanted to help me dig. There was music playing from the boom box and it filled the yard. I thank my dad for teaching me to love classical music. I don't know who has done what in it but I know that I like the music.

4 comments:

Rach said...

How strange you are essentially living in *their* house, yet they act as if you don't exist. I find it unbelievable sad they don't know how to interact with you so they instead ignore you. :o(

Yay on enjoying the day outside. :o)Summer seemed to be upon us here yesterday as well. Today is grey and rainy and cool. Go figure.

linda said...

Working outside is so theraputic for me. And nothing like some physical labor to ensure a good nights sleep.
It is supposed to snow here in Portland today. Can you believe that? We hardly ever get snow in winter and now in April? I'm ready for warmth and sunshine.Glad you have it!

Stella said...

I am so sorry that your inlaws are not more connected with you. Perhaps once their own sadness subsides a bit they will reach out. It's not an acceptable excuse for bad behavior but it may be the reason.

I love working in my yard, and it sounds like your patio stones will be beautiful. Don't worry about the grass, a little Weed B Gone will take care of that. Keep on with your dream and enjoy your yard.

Love,
Stella

CarolChretien said...

Hi Betts...I was raking Lizzie's yard today and your and Jim popped into my mind...I guess I knew the year was coming up since he is gone ...anyway just wanted to say I am sending hugs and continued prayers for strength ...always think that even when you may not feel it you are a strong woman in my eyes.
Carol