Tuesday, April 29, 2008
It has been a heartwrenching journey. I still wait at night to hear the door slam on the truck and his feet on the stairs. I still wonder why it was him that is gone. Eleven months later and the pain of his death is still, still here with me. The hole in my chest has scabbed and I am able to get thru whole days at a time without crying. I am not able to get thru any day without desperately missing his touch, laughter, wit, voice and gaze at me.
Jim, I watched the animals grazing last night at the safari like restuarant and all I could think of was you. How much you would enjoy that. It was something we never saw together, but seeing it alone made me very sad you weren't at my side.
Jim, I watched little princesses dancing in the streets of he magical kingdom and it was wonderful to see their smiles. We would have had fun pointing to them and giggling with them. I ache that you weren't there with me.
Jim, my love, I know it will be said that you were there, you were at my side, but I wanted the real living breathing you to love.
Eleven months and I am still hanging in there. I guess you were right.
Jim, I love you. I miss you and I am trying hard to get along with you gone.