Friday, January 18, 2008

To write

I am not sure what to write anymore. I want to write about the pain that still hits me. I want to write about the laughter Jim and I shared. I want to write about the lonliness inside. I want to write about the love two can have. I want to write about the vision in my head of Jim, in the hospital with a tube in his mouth and a grey pallor to his skin. I want to write about the excitement as he rubbed an ice cube on my body, in this same room in which I now write. I want to write about how I so much want him to be asleep in the other room, so I can wake him up with kisses and have him say 'good night angel sweet dreams' to me. I want to write about how much it hurts to know that won't happen.

I must write about good times and the way Jim touched my life.

I find myself writing about the sadness that I move thru as it envelops me.


Laurie said...

Hi Betsy,

I have a suggestion for what you should write about. Everything you just mentioned in your post is a good place to start:) You write so good and you know, the whole thing about grieving and this journey you walk, the good and the sad, it is all part of who You and Jim are. Just write what you feel on your heart for each post you come to. There is no right or wrong, just your story of You and Jim. You have done so good with all your posts.
I'll always come back to visit you.

Have a good weekend, this means Sunday too, if possible.:)

Love, Laurie in Ca.

Laura said...

You are in luck because I want to read what you want to write. It is a lonely road, and I am grateful that I am not so alone on it...even though I wish you still had your beloved.

Sonya said...

Betsy, I know you said you want to write more of the happy posts, but it's OK to write about the sadness, too. All those feelings are part of you and if it helps to share, we want to read.

I wish I could have gotten to know Jim better. I sort of can, by reading all the things you have written here.

Hugs to you today,

SueDaz said...

You should ALWAYS write how you feel, not what you think...healing takes place when you can thwart the sadness by writing it out and not keeping it inside.
Just my two cents on this very cold Saturday Night.

GD said...

Pocket those two cents by SueDaz - she was right on the money. Keep on truckin', baby! You're on the right track.

rachd said...

Write whatever you need to in order to get through. I so often want to write joyful (or if not joyful, at least happy or pleasant) things, and instead the sadness comes out. Of course, isn't that the whole point of journaling?

Please know, I want to read anything you have to say.