Saturday morning hits me

Again it hits. No Jim coming home after work tonight.

I sit and make lists of the things I need to do today. The thought comes to me of greeting Jim at the door and telling him of what had happened in our world while he was at work. There is, there was a rush that I got seeing him pull up and park. He would call me and let me know he was almost home and I would sit out on our stoop waiting, to see him pull up, get out of the truck and walk up the street. That little tiny joy in the big wide world is gone. The hello I missed you kiss. The I love you hug. Jim always had one for me and it made life so very special.

I know others have felt this with their loved ones. It's a feeling of sharing. A feeling of 'here's what I have done today' so that we can share the days joys, tears, laughter, frustrations and madness. It brings us together and allows us to be a part of each others life.

Realizing this morning that there will be no Jim at the door tonight just made me sad. I can keep making my lists and getting things done and even laughing and crying and feeling frustrated. But not having Jim to share them with is takiing some getting used to.