Thursday, September 27, 2007

Didn't write it, but like it

Grieving individuals do not always follow the standard stages of denial, anger, and acceptance. Yet they often feel forced into these boxes by medical professionals, family, and friends who try to move them along and consider them abnormal if they don't get on with life in a set amount of time.

But each person's pattern of grief is as unique as each person's pattern of love -- and stages and boxes just don't work. There can be a breakthrough moment that can come "Bingo! I don't have to follow anyone's pattern, I didn't have to stop being sad. Not only is sadness okay, it is necessary." Nobody can tell you how to mourn. And it's not self-indulgent; it's not wallowing; it's hanging on to something important. We should not avoid bereavement. We should embrace it, welcoming our moments of sorrow as a time to reconnect with the person we've lost. Try to reconnect with your husband every chance you can. He was your best friend, deepest love, soul mate, and best buddy. There will be a time of peace when the pain is dissolved into just the love.

No comments: