Monday, September 3, 2007

Comfort too

Still in New Hampshire. What a weird state. Okay, good weird, but I must explain. Maryland is hot humid days and steamy warm a/c needing nights. I have found NH to be hot clear days and blanket needing, cold toe nights. Maybe in a couple weeks I could get used to it. Of course, in a couple weeks the weather will change.

Beautiful day yesterday. A clear blue sky with a bright sun and high temps - great day for the cook out that was held. I played first round chef and cooked up some chicken, while watching Iain our top chef handle the burgers and dogs. He is enjoying this cooking phase, and did a good job of following instructions.

There came a point though that I was feeling a wee out of place. We had people over from my friends workplace and they started the medical talking. I had a kind of 'where is jim' moment and went upstairs to cry it out. I had forgotten that one of my friends was already up there. She worked all night and stops here to crash for a bit. I lay down with her, cried and talked. It was a good moment for some emotional release.

Her son Buster came in, brought up for the picnic by his dad, who soon followed. A couple of hugs and I was feeling better. Bismo and the Momma are definite comfort zones for me. Friends that knew me Before Jim and During Jim. And interestingly enough, I knew them both before they were with each other. The four of us - them and Jim and I, bring to me strong good warm memories. Laughter, love, and a strength with our partners. So now stretched out on the bed and talking about things with my friends was a enveloping feeling of calm. Having that family unit in the house balanced things out for me a bit.

A simple act of sitting next to Bismo on the couch watching tv as the kids in the house whizzzed around us gave me a comfort not felt in awhile. On this journey thru the grieving of a loved one, the steps have been tenuous and the road often unclear. This was a nice rest area.

Hail the Tiki!

1 comment:

Bismo said...

It was so great to see you, Betts, and finally give you those hugs in person we've been saving up for you.