Friday, June 22, 2007

A wooden box & some tee shirts

So I started this blog so I could express some emotions that were inside and needed to be let out. Better to write then to stand in my bedroom and silently scream. Gave myself a headache doing that so I am going to write.

Why am I screaming? It didn't start out that way. I was just sorting out the pile of laundry that was clean and just getting dusty. I thought I could handle moving some tee shirts from one area to another area. Some tee's that were mine and some that were Jim's. Wrong! I couldn't handle it.
When my hands hit the one Superman tee shirt that he has had for almost 20 years, I lost it. It is the oldest shirt that I know of in his collection and he hasn't worn it in years. He had that shirt before he had even met me. I am not sure how it got out of a drawer, but there it was.

Forward to me with tears and screaming with mouth open and no sound. I don't remember the part in between. Why did I think I could straighten the house without anyone else here? or at all? I guess I was being brave. Jim and I have a large tee shirt collection and most are movie/superhero related. I stopped the crying, wiped my face and put the rest of his shirts in his drawer. The Superman was kept out on his nightstand with his homemade Duffman hat on top. I feel better just writing this out.

I opened my sock drawer to put stuff away (socks) and saw in the way back something I hadn't seen in awhile. A wooden heart box. It is a beautiful puzzle box. I remember this. Jim gave one to me and one to his daughter for Valentines day. What year?
Gosh. 2001? I am not sure.
On the inside is a little Simpsons valentine card and a lock of hair. Jim's hair.
On the box lid, in sharpie is a note - To Betsy, Love Always, Jim - p.s. keep for cloning only.

Oh god, did Jim have a quirky sense of humor!!!

For cloning only. (for cloning only? what else would I do with it?)
Thanks Jim, it is a touching thought and of course I will keep it.

1 comment:

jenny48188 said...

Oh, Betts. I can totally relate to the screaming silently. I am at that point right now. Some days I just think I am going crazy with grief. Right now is one of those moments. The grief is overwhelming. Thanks for sharing your story. It helps to know that I'm not alone.