Friday, March 18, 2011


I was doing some gardening and wanted some background music. I struggled with trying to get the boom box to work. It needed C batteries. Oh well. Trying to figure something else out to use...what else did I have. I thought about the cd player/alarm/digital clock that was upstairs. I hadn't thought about it in a long while. Didn't know if I even could. It was the one that Jim and I used for years as our alarm clock. We would start the morning with Enya singing to us. It was too painful to listen to when he first passed away. I just unplugged it and moved it a couple feet over and boughta $12 alarm from Wal-mart.

I found it and dusted it off. A lot of dust had accumulated over the years. I saw under the dust was the label I made and stuck to it. Betsy loves Jim xoxoxo. I put that on it when I gave it to him. Touching that made me sad, yet I didn't want to be sad, I wanted to sit in the sun and plant flowers. Well, I couldn't get the radio to work but it would still play cd's. I couldn't bear Enya, however I did pull some Croce, Huey and Blues Brothers. An odd mix, but it was what I grabbed first. I was doing good singing along until BAMM Croce started singing "Photographs and Memories". A song about a love lost and what was left behind. His voice just rolled the lyrics out and his guitar melded it into a song that touched me in a deep place.

Yep, I lost it. I mean, with Jim gone that is basically what I have. Photographs of our life together. Memories of the times we shared. I sat in the backyard and cried for a bit as I listened to the song. I got up at the end and put Huey Lewis back in and started singing again.

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