A New Year - 2011 starts

I stayed home this New Year's Eve.

I learned from the past two years and stayed home. Two years ago I went to a big party in another state and was okay until midnight. Then I stood among many people - some friends, some I just met, and I watched them kiss each other. I had no one to kiss to welcome in the new year. I freaked out and ran into the bathroom and turned the lights off and locked the door. And cried. I wanted Jim to kiss a welcome to the new year.

Well, last year I thought, okay, no big party, just a small gathering with some good good friends. Friends that knew Jim. Um. No. There I was at midnight looking around for Jim to hug and kiss and whoop and holler with. I went into another room and sat on the sofa alone and quiet while they all celebrated. One friend then another came in and sat with me and held my hand. That was nice.

However, this year I was smart and stayed home. I went to the store in the afternoon and bought some total junk food. I got chips and two kinds of dip - you know the regular ranch style and then that horseradish and bacon flavored. That is good...clears your sinuses. I bought some root beer, some veggies for the dip and some ice cream to make a root beer float later. I had a fun evening. It was me, the couch, the dog and Friday Night Lights. That tv show is my new addiction and I can't stop watching it. I have it on my netflix streaming and also bought myself the dvd's for christmas. Oh my I love it.

And when midnight came I didn't feel so alone. Strangely, I was alone in my house, but I wasn't alone in the crowd.