Sunday, November 9, 2008

Wish me luck

Wish me luck.

Today at 4pm I am holding the first "young widows in baltimore" meeting. I was feeling depressed at my 2nd year demarc and tried to get into another grief group. All of them that I found were just not close by. So, I went to which is a very wide open website for people to create a group/club and others to search for what they may want/need.

I found the cinema club I (and Jim) belonged to for 5 years there. At I started one for Young Widows/widowers.I scheduled a meeting last month and was the only one there, but that was more a time and date issue. This month there are 4 yes's to coming and 2 maybe's.

I am not sure exactly what we will talk about but I think it will be introductions and such.Next month I hope to be in a library or more private place than a restaurant. The idea is much like this forum. To let others that have lost spouses and partners to know they are not alone in the sea of family and friends that try to understand.

Early after Jim's death I attended a hospice based Young widwows grief group and it was 6 weeks. It helped immensely to be able to speak to someone who was young and had lost their partner suddenly and unexpectedly. I didn't know where else to go for some help, it had been 3 months and I had other groups turning me away because "it was too soon" I was told by one grief group. I started this blog to get some of the hurt, anger, frustration and mostly to not lose memories that were very precious to me. I may not ever lose them, but I know with medication I am taking my memory is not what it used to be.

One thing I found in that group was that no matter what problem I had come to face, it’s always better to have someone who has been through same thing and talk about feelings that will be genuinely understood. Some of the women had lost their husbands 3 or 4 years ago. But the group ended and the friendships we had promised each other sort of floundered because of other influences.

What I would like to try and create with this meeting is a group of widows/widowers who can talk about their grief and how they handled it. Vent, or cry or offer tips to each other. But also a group that can go shoot pool or play minature golf or sit and have dinner and not worry about being that 5th person out.

I am not sure what we will talk about this afternoon, but I am going in positive because the response I have gotten were one of need for something closer to home. That was my objective, to start a group for young widows that didn't involve an hour or longer drive to reach it. Each month we may have more members and I know the way groups work, some will come and go. I feel good just for starting it up, I can only hope for it's success in filling a need here.

1 comment:

Rach said...

Oh, I SO hope this meeting went well and you had a decent turn-out. :fingers crossed: