Saturday, August 25, 2007


I am thinking that tomorrow will be the day that Jim's ashes get 'urned'.

The Urned word is his creation when he was telling me years ago, what he wanted done. He said 'I want my ashes urned and then mixed with yours and then we can both be tossed into a clear blue ocean together.'

His ashes have been in the box that the funeral home gave them to me in. I have not been able to open the box and look in at them. It also was given to me in a tote bag with the funeral homes name on it. (too tacky) I have been touching it and talking to him when I need to ground myself or calm myself or sometimes when I was crying.

I don't have a proper 'urn' to put his ashes in, yet, but I am going to use the wood box he used for his personal items like watches, change and such. It is a nice mahoghany and should be big enough if I can get the bottom drawers out.

This is a step forward for me because I haven't been able to look at the ashes, I hope I can do this. I will put on some of his favorite music for mood and hope for peace.


Don Sakers said...


Depending on how you feel about it, Urning might be something you would want to do in the company of friends and/or family. It seems like the kind of thing that wants to be a ceremony.

Besides...I'm thinking of myself in your place, doing the same thing...I'm so clumsy that if I messed up, dropped something or spilled or whatever, I would go absolutely bugf* would be better to have people around.

I'm sure that everyone would be honored to be part of an Urning ceremony. (Unless it would be too painful for you.)

Love, Don

Betts4 said...

Don, I never thought about having others around but can see absolutely how that may be a good idea.

I think bugf*ck is exactly the term I would go if something were to happen.

I also spent time at Jim's Parents gravesite out in carroll county and am feeling a bit more emotional this afternoon then I expected.

Thank you for the thoughts.