That place between sleeping and awake....

You know that place between sleeping and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always think of you." — J.M. Barrie

I stumbled on this quote on a friends Facebook posting yesterday. It struck me as a perfect description of what I have felt these past four years. That place where I have put Jim in a memory that is better than a memory because it is interactive. I can talk to him, touch him and feel his arms around me. I have woken to the sound of his voice, because I heard it in my dream.

Peter Pan is special to me because I think my first ever crush was at age 3 while watching Mary Martin fly across the stage. My father told me for years afterward that night I put my hands on the tv and then clapped to try and save Tink. I have a book I "wrote" with scribbles then a pic of Croc and Hook then more scribbles and a drawing of Tink and Peter. Nice stick figures and lots of scribbles but my Dad saved it. He told me in later years that he was glad that I maintained my childhood innoncence and "never grew up" like my siblings did. Jim told me once after talking with Dad that he found that part of me very special.

I am glad we mortals dream and glad that I can find that neverland space where Jim is.

Canvas on Demand for the Win!

Groupon (or maybe LivingSocial) had a great deal a few months ago. A 16x20" stretched canvas print with a photo printed on it. It seemed like just what I wanted for a Jim pic. The company was Canvas on Demand and they did a great job. In fact, the first jpg I sent in they told me it was too small and asked me for a new one. They were wonderful in the customer service department. Visit their site!

It took me 5 months to get off my butt and find the "right one". I wanted something that really showed Jim at his most, well, comfortable. To me that meant, him happy, in comfortable clothes and having fun!



This is a picture of the print on canvas on my wall at work. I can see his smile and remember that day.

Faithful readers you will have to suffer thru this. I may even have posted this pic and talked about that day somewhere else on this blog. Oh well. Too bad.

I look at the smile on his face and remember when this happened. We were going skiing with friends in New Hampshire. I had not skied since I was a teen and I decided to take a big book and hunker down in the lodge with some hot toddies or mudslides or something like that. Jim wanted to ski. He was very excited about it.

He is so, well, Jim in this pic. It makes me both smile and cry at the same time. He has on this bright yellow jacket. Under that is a faux sheepskin pullover and his "neck warmer".

The neck warmer makes me laugh because he bought this that winter and they were not a scarf but like the top of a turtleneck that you pulled over your head and it kept the area from chin to collarbone warm. He thought these were just the neatest things and also bought one for me. Um, yeah. I could have lived without one, but he got a kick from it so I wore it. The ski goggles pushed up on his head and the grin are priceless.

Jim was an all or nothing kind of guy and he was excited about this trip and exploring a part of the snow culture that we hadn't visited before. I think he wanted to meet some snow bunnies!

These little points in the pic are just so much a part of him and just want I don't want to forget. He loved the sheepskin pullover and when it got a bit worn, he pulled the sleeves off and it became part of a Frankenstein costume for him one Halloween. The part you can't see is even better. He is wearing camo pants. He showed up in them to ski in and my friend cocked an eyebrow and wondered about it. But he was 100% comfortable in them and it worked for him. Go Jim!

Here is a shot of us both when we got to our friends house.



Anyway, I am going back to Canvas on Demand to have a pic of my Mom done up like this. They made the whole experience a pleasure. Check them out.

http://www.canvasondemand.com